Banish Fear and Embrace Your Power

 

​Notes: 

Working in sales can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride. When things are going well, you’re on top of the world – nothing can stop you! When they’re not, though, that’s when the fear sets in, and it can be a hard feeling to shake.

We’ve all experienced fear in our lives, and it can be crippling. The good news is that by identifying and confronting those fears, you can banish them, embrace your power, and begin living your best life.

Let’s start by defining what fear actually is. It’s an experience that triggers a physiological response. Our bodies react, and typically we respond with fight, flight, or paralysis.

Now, let’s break it down even further. You’ve got helpful fear, the kind that can give you the boost of energy you need to get yourself out of a potentially dangerous situation, and then you’ve got harmful fear. A good example of harmful fear is dread, that sense of impending doom that you just can’t shake. Another harmful type of fear comes in the form of self-doubt. It creeps in and it tells us that we’re not good enough. As a result, we stop striving and reaching for the things that we’re truly capable of.

I’ve experienced harmful fear in my life, and when you listen to this webinar, you’ll hear me share the story of when my family’s boat sank in shark-infested waters when I was only 8 years old. You’d better believe that ordeal taught me a lot of valuable lessons, and the main one is this:

If there’s something you want to do in your life, understand that now is the time.

Think about how much time you spend feeling dread about things that may never come to pass. How many opportunities you may have missed because fear held you back. I understand. I’ve been there, too.

One of the fundamental fears we all share is that we’re not good enough. That we won’t be able to take care of our families. That we won’t earn enough to handle whatever life throws at us. When you think about it, that fear isn’t about what’s going to happen. It’s that we as individuals won’t be capable of standing up to that situation when it arises.

If we’re going to banish fear, we must embrace our power.

So, how we do that?

We start by putting our fear in a box. Take that fear we’re experiencing and imagine it being in a box. The good news is there’s another box that is much more powerful than this one. That is the box of truth. Think about it – the truth of the situation is always absolute. There is no alternative truth. There is only the truth. When you’re experiencing fears and you can focus on what the truth of the situation is rather than what you imagine the truth of the situation is, you’ll find that the fear is immediately diminished. Truth and fear cannot exist in the same place. The truth grows and it displaces the fear. A healthy life is one where we can balance our fear with the truth of the situation. The better you get at recognizing this, the easier it is to do.

Let me help you do that by identifying some truths about you.

The Chinese have a concept called wu-hsin. Wu-hsin is the concept of no-mindedness. When I think of no-mindedness, I think of it as being the proof that we’re all much greater than we give ourselves credit for. We’re capable of amazing things when we can suspend our thinking and just let ourselves act. You’ve had this experience in your life already. Think of a time when you’ve been driving down the road and a dog jumps in front of your car. You were able to steer yourself out of the situation instantaneously without even thinking. This is proof that you are capable of performing beyond your conscious expectations.

The next truth about you is that you have an inner voice, and sometimes that inner voice can be a real pain. If you’ve got a day ahead of you where everything is planned and you know exactly what’s expected of you, that feels pretty good, right? It feeds your need for certainty and your inner voice is likely very comfortable with that. On the other hand, when your day isn’t so nicely structured, the doubts can start creeping in, and it’s very easy for that inner voice to start feeding you negative thoughts.

There is a way to make friends with your inner voice, and the first step is to simply become aware of what it’s saying. Just open your mind to hearing it and acknowledging when it says something that’s helpful or not helpful.

Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line right down the center of it. On one side of the line, write  “dead,” and on the other side, write “alive.” Jot down the activities that make you feel dead, the things in life that you just do not want to do. On the other side, take note of the things that you do that make you feel alive, the ones that just make you feel fantastic.

When we know what doesn’t make us feel great – and what does – we can better focus on the activities that make us feel alive and incorporate them into our every lives. It gives us a boost and can help silence that negative inner voice that can often lead to fear.

I’m looking forward to continuing the conversation with you, so please leave some comments on how you’re working to banish fear here, or join our Seriously Happy Facebook group. Good luck!

Leave a Reply 2 comments

Kendra Spicer - June 9, 2017 Reply

Hi Dan,

Wow! Thanks so much for coming from such an amazing point of contribution! I learned so much from this webinar. Your authentic approach is a relief as well as a breath of fresh air. I had categorized myself as the unlikely salesperson from the “DISC profile”, as well as the limiting belief that an introvert (though very empathetic and good at connecting with folks when I put myself in the position, which I shy away from) cannot succeed as a Realtor. My husband and I are a real estate team in a new market and are new to the profession as well. He is a natural at making people feel at ease, comfortable at “winging it” and has the attitude of “making dreams come true” where mine has been that of a problem solver with a grasp of the details and technology. I want to expand our business so that he is relieved of the all responsibility to be the “people person” and me the paper/online marketing person. I don’t want my dread and hesitation of showing properties to hold up our success, which has actually been quite remarkable thus far. My fears have held me back from stepping up to the plate beyond paperwork and marketing, and this webinar as well as the one on building rapport (most especially the shared observation conversation starters), has changed my outlook, and I know, ultimately our business. I feel armed and ready to help our clients instead of secretly wanting to refer them to someone with the twice the experience. I am empowered. Thank you! Thank you!

    Dan Stewart - June 10, 2017 Reply

    Hi Kendra! Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m simply paying forward all the love, kindness and guidance that’s been given to me. Congratulations on your progress– I can’t wait to hear about your next wins! 🙂

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